Finally feeling more normal today and actually got to go work out - Yeah!!! Actually worked up a good sweat.
Feeling pretty mellow today and don't have a lot to say. Just wanted to establish a routine of writing something every day.
Ex called today and wanted to know if he could move the stuff out to the garage, because friend couldn't help him this weekend - but he could help him this week. I very nicely told him that no, didn't want it in the garage - as I was picturing an entire garage full of furniture gathering dust, pollen, bugs and possums for the next four months! Told him it needed to be out by the weekend and they could certainly come during the WEEK - what a crazy idea - if he couldn't come on the weekend. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will actually happen without my head popping off. But just for the record, friend called him and talked to him about what to do AFTER I talked to friend! So ex did not come up with this on his own, but did come up with the stupid furniture in the garage solution!
I caught up on several episodes of shows I'd recorded and one was "Lie To Me". There was an episode about a guy who was hired by a lawyer on behalf of ex-husband's to marry newly divorced woman. He'd become whatever the women wanted, marry them, stay married six months and then divorce them and move on to the next wife. (The purpose being to stop alimony payments - the bad guy would then get paid 1/2 the alimony the husband would have paid for a year) But the point of this is - he said he'd get these woman right after they were divorced and at their most vulnerable, wondering if they'd be alone the rest of their lives. I started laughing!! Yup - another cliche' that I'm fulfilling! But it made me feel a little better that I have been thinking like that and that it is normal. And I guess that's the good thing about ex being broke - don't have to worry about some shyster making me love him only to hurt me later!
Feeling pretty mellow today and don't have a lot to say. Just wanted to establish a routine of writing something every day.
Ex called today and wanted to know if he could move the stuff out to the garage, because friend couldn't help him this weekend - but he could help him this week. I very nicely told him that no, didn't want it in the garage - as I was picturing an entire garage full of furniture gathering dust, pollen, bugs and possums for the next four months! Told him it needed to be out by the weekend and they could certainly come during the WEEK - what a crazy idea - if he couldn't come on the weekend. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will actually happen without my head popping off. But just for the record, friend called him and talked to him about what to do AFTER I talked to friend! So ex did not come up with this on his own, but did come up with the stupid furniture in the garage solution!
I caught up on several episodes of shows I'd recorded and one was "Lie To Me". There was an episode about a guy who was hired by a lawyer on behalf of ex-husband's to marry newly divorced woman. He'd become whatever the women wanted, marry them, stay married six months and then divorce them and move on to the next wife. (The purpose being to stop alimony payments - the bad guy would then get paid 1/2 the alimony the husband would have paid for a year) But the point of this is - he said he'd get these woman right after they were divorced and at their most vulnerable, wondering if they'd be alone the rest of their lives. I started laughing!! Yup - another cliche' that I'm fulfilling! But it made me feel a little better that I have been thinking like that and that it is normal. And I guess that's the good thing about ex being broke - don't have to worry about some shyster making me love him only to hurt me later!
I share that fear of the prospect of loneliness with you. It paralyzes me to think of myself 20 years from now, sitting at my table eating by myself. Divorce makes you appreciate the little moments in a marriage that pass by without notice. The little pat on the back, the nestled cuddle, even the wiping of food off your face when you didn't realize mustard and ketchup has dribble all down your chin. You really lose sight of those tender moments and now that I have begun the severing of my marriage, I ache to have that back in my life.
ReplyDeleteI recently read a men's divorce support website, and their sales pitch partly revolved around the idea of 'embracing your singleness.' I thought to myself, that's bullshit. If I thought being single was for me, I'd never have married, or would have divorced a long time ago. Why in the world would I want to embrace something that literally terrifies the crap out of me? I'll probably join the site in time. Pathetic, huh?